i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
