i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
