At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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