Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
