apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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