I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am mentally ready for anal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
