her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
