Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
