you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
