Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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