I'm really into asian looking animals
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you had me at cake vodka
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
