This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
