i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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