No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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