So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
