Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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