One girl and one boy is just not enough.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
