I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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