Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
