If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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