worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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