I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
