Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
