we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
