508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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