Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
