They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
