she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
