At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
