I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize