Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
