Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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