after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
