i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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