she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like a drive thru vagina
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
