Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
