After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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