let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
