so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
