How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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