Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
