i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
