i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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