how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
