no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
