I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
