Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
