ya dads aren't the best wingmen
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
