thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
