Jerry, you need to find god
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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