where am i from again
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
