is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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