I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
